When Jon and I went to visit Scarlett this morning, her eyes were wide open. It's not very often she does that so we loved that!
Today, she had an MRI done to see what could be causing her seizures.
They moved her to a portable bed to transfer her down to get the MRI. I think the move was a little much for her. She spit up her milk everywhere.
I was so thankful we could be there with her.
They wedged her sweet little head with blankets all around inside this helmet thing and put earplugs in her ears. I also got a pair. As I patiently sat waiting for 20 minutes listening to the loud beeping and buzzing, I could hear her soft cry. I wanted to be right there to comfort her, but I knew this was just one of the many things I just couldn't be right there for her. She had to do it alone, and it was hard to watch. When she came out, I quickly jumped up and moved to her side. She was okay. I was so proud of her.
Scarlett spit her milk up again tonight. They did an x-ray on her lungs to make sure she didn't aspirate any of it into them and they will do another one tomorrow morning to compare.
They are going to start her on steroids tomorrow. That sounds so funny saying that. They aren't the same steroids body builders use. We are hopeful that they will help when they pull out her breathing tube.
Tonight was a hard night leaving Scarlett. She had a minor set back with her breathing tonight, but they were able to get her 02 saturation levels normal again. The nurse also gave her a dose of Albuteral to open up her airway.
While I was holding her, she seemed to be struggling with her breathing. I looked in her tired eyes and I just prayed that she would be okay. My heart feels so weary and sometimes I feel like giving up hope, but I still want to have faith that she will be okay and become a perfectly healthy baby, although deep down I know that is probably not the case.
We read our Patriarchal blessings when we got home tonight. I hadn't read mine for so long, I had almost forgotten the profound words in it that are meant for me especially during this time. In it it tells me I need to keep a positive attitude when I have trials and the Lord will buoy me up. Sometimes I am able to do that, but most the time I feel so terrified for the future. I wish it just came natural to think positively about how things are. Jon also told me something I needed to hear. That if Scarlett has a syndrome that makes her handicap or possibly even takes her life, then we will have to accept that that is how Heavenly Father wants things. We cannot change the future, but we can be positive about the little improvements Scarlett is making and we can enjoy the time we have with her instead of being afraid of what the future may or may not hold.
Tony and Mary took Hunter and Jaina up to Bear River tonight for the Pearson family reunion. It was hard to see them go because I knew I hadn't spent much time with them this past week. But I know they will have a good time.
Tonight while I was pondering my Patriarchal blessing, Jon put Grey to bed. He told me that Grey prayed that Scarlett would come home. That is the biggest thing I am praying for, too.
Tony and Mary took Hunter and Jaina up to Bear River tonight for the Pearson family reunion. It was hard to see them go because I knew I hadn't spent much time with them this past week. But I know they will have a good time.
Tonight while I was pondering my Patriarchal blessing, Jon put Grey to bed. He told me that Grey prayed that Scarlett would come home. That is the biggest thing I am praying for, too.
